Why horses ?
Dr. Nancy Waite-O'Brien, Betty Ford Center, USA
One of the effects of long-term use of drugs or alcohol is a seeming atrophy of the ability to be fully aware of ourselves and of others. The chemicals blunt the ability to be accurately aware of the subtleties of the self-presentation and communication that helps us be congruent or authentic in our connections with others.
Connection with horses requires an appreciation of the nonverbal as well as verbal messages we give to others. It requires patience, gentleness, self-confidence, perceptiveness, focus and awareness. Horses are large, but nevertheless easily frightened, prey animals whose survival has depended on becoming exquisitely sensitive to body language, innuendo, emotional tone and to the position and movement of objects in their sensory fields. By reflecting back to us the signals and intents of which we aren’t even aware – much less aware that we’re communicating outward, horses train us to notice at all times the information we convey.
Horses assist in developing within us the three nonintellectual, nonrational aspects of our intelligence – instinct, emotion and sensation. These are the parts of ourselves likely to be numbed by drugs or alcohol.
We tend to value our ability to be rational over these nonrational parts of our being but our ability to be sensitive and empathetic relies on these aspects of emotional intelligence. Horses assist in this learning because, unlike dogs and cats, they make little use of the reasoning function. Instead, their sensitivity to their surroundings teaches us to pay attention to ourselves as emotional sensate beings. This awareness allow us to be more authentic in our relationships with others.
As swift, powerful and sometimes intimidating animals, horses create a natural opportunity for those around them to overcome fear and develop confidence. Because it’s difficult if not impossible to bluff one’s commend of the situation around horses, we learn how to cope with feelings of insecurity, to ask for help and to succeed at developing authentic self-assurance.
While we are careful not to equate horses with people, horses and humans have much in common. Horses are social animals with defined roles within their herds. They have distinct personalities, attitudes and moods. An approach that works with one horse does not necessarily work with another. At times, they seem stubborn and defiant. We must with their respect on their terms before they are willing to respond to our wishes. Because horses react to the most subtle signals, they hold up a magnifying mirror to ourselves and our behaviors. In this mirror we see how we are and the path for change in recovery.
Objectives
Learning opportunities in work with horses includes:
Becoming aware of subtleties of verbal and nonverbal communication
We are often unaware of messages from body position and other nonverbal cues that signal respect vs. lack of it, incongruence between words and deed and flagging self assurance. In working with horse, we receive clear and explicit feedback about messages that we may not be aware we are sending.
Improving attention, mindfulness and focusing abilities
How many times do we seem to be listening to others while surreptitiously glancing at our watches, allowing our minds to wander, or fidgeting with impatience while uttering an absent-minded “Uh-huh”? We think others don’t notice our inattention, but they do. Horses are not too polite to tell us when our concentration has lapsed. Their attention wanders the instant ours does. In our contact with the horse we learn what it truly is to “stay in the moment”.
Becoming aware of incongruence: intention vs. behavior
Most people can tell when we say one thing and mean another but they don’t often tell us. As a result, we often give mixed or confusing messages to those around us. Horses unabashedly react to our behavior and to our intentions, not to the surface appearances we try to create. Through work in the round pen, the crucible of equine experiential learning, we learn how horses perceive and respond to contradictory intentions and behaviors. Often horses perceive incongruence as dangerous and will move to stay away from those who aren’t authentic. Those observing our interactions with a horse help us see, in a non-judgmental way, how we truly are in the world.
Identifying and respecting boundaries in ourselves and others
Healthy relationships depend on our ability to note discomfort in others and in ourselves. Horses give unequivocal cues and teach valuable lessons about maintaining personal space for ourselves and others. They can even give us clues about the intensity of our physical contacts with others.
Recognizing the nature of projection
In any relationship, much of what we see in others is that which exists in ourselves. We project our hopes, fears, issues, moods and personalities on those we love, those we work with, onto strangers on the street and on to animals. For example, we may look at a horse and say “He looks sad,” or “She’s the boss of the herd”. Often, we are projecting our own feelings and self-perceptions on the horse. We anthropomorphize what may just be horse behavior. The feelings and sensations that emerge in work with horses can be information we use to learn more about ourselves.
Confronting fear and developing confidence-
Many of us don’t have the experience of feeling courageous. We ignore fear and use bluff and bravado to get through difficult situations. Horses survive because of their ability to discern who can be trusted. They respond when we are dealing honestly with both our strengths and weaknesses. They teach us how ineffective we are when we try to control everything and what courage it takes to be genuinely human.
Expanding the moment
In our high tech world, it’s difficult to remind ourselves to be present in the moment. We are often rushing around, trying to manage multiple tasks and never being fully present in one place. Cell phones, beepers and e-mail demand our attention day and night. It feels as though there are never enough hours in the day and nothing ever feels complete. Horses help restore our awareness of the moment by teaching us that we can’t take short cuts, that things happen in their own good time, and that everything we do deserves our full attention.
Coping with stress
Increased body awareness allows us to use the information presented by our senses to respond appropriately to life on life’s terms. As we learn to do this we find that we stop resisting – a new way to experience acceptance. Within that acceptance is rest and the release of stress.
© Oy Cavesson Ltd 1994-2008